Don’t wait for your life to start!!! The hard shit has taught me more than the easy road ever could. I have struggled, fought and sacrificed to become who I am and I love her. Life’s lessons didn’t come easy and most days were not beautiful but there is something beautiful in every day. We don’t get a promise that tomorrow will come and everything will be okay. That is not the way life works and if yours does then I would like to join your fairytale! My dad knew his tomorrow’s were limited and for that reason he lived more each day then most do their whole life.

He did what he wanted, he stuck up for himself, he didn’t care what people thought and didn’t have time for those who did, he didn’t sugar coat the bullshit, he didn’t take crap from anyone, he didn’t get caught up in other people’s drama, he didn’t expect tomorrow, he did do what’s right, treat people like he wanted to be treated, helped those less fortunate, appreciated what he had, saw everyone as equal, and never pined for things others had.

He was unique in that way. I have never in my life met anyone else who could purely be happy from other’s good fortune. He genuinely got excited for other peoples good news. I see pictures of friend’s vacations on Facebook and get jealous I haven’t been there or hear my cousin landed a dream job and feel that twinge of envy. These emotions didn’t exist in his body. Maybe he was so encompassed by other feelings like those of pain, exhaustion or illness he didn’t have room for feelings of jealousy. Or perhaps he realized what all of us need to, you have your own life and it’s perfect for you. It seems like it’s our nature to always want more when simply we have enough.


“You can’t take it with you” was my dad’s favorite saying. Make memories not money because the thing everyone wants the most is something none of us can buy, time. When it is your time that’s it and in that moment you are not going to regret not having a bigger house you’re going to regret having a bigger house and not spending any time in it.

My dad taught me many lessons but this may be the most important pick people over things. He truly enjoyed people. He saw no difference in the homeless man begging for change outside the store or the Wall Street executive running to a meeting. Everyone is someone, a person, we are all just people. Every one of us has a story, a purpose. Lived a life, some better than yours some worse. Never judge it is not your place, you are not God. Don’t long for what they have because you don’t know the cost. “If problems were apples on a tree you would pick your own” is a saying that has stuck with me from my great-grandma. Maybe that vacation to the Bahamas I envied on FB threw my friend into debt and now they were not approved for a house or that job my cousin took cost her her relationship with the perfect guy. You don’t know others sacrifices because you have not walked in their shoes so be happy for them, stop wanting what they have and let the bitterness and desire go. You are not them they are not you, you are you and there is only one! Claim it love it live it.  

Now learning the lesson that wanting doesn’t do anyone any good and doing something about it are two different stories. There are days I still feel that ping of desire to be the one sharing the good news instead of my friend but I simply think it’s not my life, not in my cards, not my fate and my life is pretty great. I can be happy with what I have because I worked damn hard to have it. I may not ever be able to put the green-eyed monster to bed for good like my father but when it rears its ugly head I ask myself would you trade all the good things in their life for all the good things in yours? The answer is always NO! So knock it off and love wha’cha got because tomorrow it may all be gone.



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